Thoughts on happiness

Since this blog is mainly about my journey to find happiness, I guess it is not surprising for me to say that I am learning how to actively seek out and promote the joy in my everyday life. It is not always easy for me to be happy.

Self-doubt and self-criticism can fester in my mind no matter how strong I imagine my foundation of joy and happiness to be. The negativity can seep in through the tiniest crack in that foundation and leave me feeling uprooted and weak. And staying positive in the face of this self-imposed negativity can be a tremendous struggle.

I have always been hard on myself, and there is still a part of me that feels like I should have "figured everything out" about ten years ago. That I haven't done nearly enough good with my life already, and that I have wasted my intelligence and have so much more potential than you would guess from my accomplishments.

I have to constantly remind myself that I always tend to take myself far too seriously, and that no one has it figured out. Even the people who you think have it together are fighting the same fight. Even the most beautiful women in the world have self-doubts. Even millionaires struggle to find satisfaction. We all have room to grow.

But lately I find that the more I focus on the everyday small things that bring me happiness - a beautiful view, a gorgeous flower, a smiling face - the more I can dwell on how lucky I am and how wonderful my life really is, the easier it becomes to maintain that feeling of happiness. The big parts of my life like my career, my family, my vision of the future, all can still make me feel worried and frankly, lost. But I know that fundamentally, I am very fortunate. For that, I am happy, and I am lucky to be able to hold onto that happiness.